andie in the arctic.

happy monday, everyone, and greetings from the land of my birth. i arrived in buffalo on saturday evening and it has not stopped snowing since my little plane desceneded from the clouds. not that anyone is particularly surprised. during winter, snow in buffalo is like a cherry on the top of a sundae. it'd just be weird without it. and all of you i'm sure will be pleased to know that after many weeks of gloating because of my superior desert climate, i am now shivering my ass off in the northeast. i am also grossly underprepared in terms of outerwear and footwear, but we'll get to that catastrophe in due time. my father has had to use his snowblow an excessive number of times since the beginning of the season, but despite of all his ferocious complaining, i truly believe there is some part of him that enjoys this activity.




my dad in his snowblowing glory. take that, snow!


as mentioned, i arrived here on saturday evening and began this part of my vacation by having a reunion with my dog, fuggles. i don't think i've mentioned fuggles too much during my chronicles, so allow me take a few minutes to introduce this behemoth of love, my mushy mastadon. as most of you know after readnig a certain post in october, our beloved childhood canine companion, bandit, left us in the summer of 2003. after much contemplation, and about a year and a half of allowing ourselves to grieve our bandit, we decided we were ready to adopt another furry baby into our home. so in december of 2004, my family adopted a 7 month old Chinook mix named fuggles. and no, we did not name him fuggles. we're not that mean. he came to us with the unique moniker already applied and it wasn't going anywhere. fuggles' coat is a very distinct reddish color that is very similar to a type of hops used in beer making. his original owner noticed this coincidence and bestowed the name fuggles onto him.




my fugglebear and my "brother" rob


and don't get me wrong, it's not like we just accepted the name fuggles without putting up at least a little bit of a fight. he has the face of a baby bear, so my father suggested we try to change his name to bear. and we tried! but fuggles said no. he would answer to nothing but fuggles. and hey, i don't blame him. it sets him apart from all those "buddy's" and "bandit's" and "rover's" out there. fuggles was very nervous around my father at first, because he had been badly abused by a man in his early puppyhood, but fugs and i bonded immediately. despite being a snow dog and weighing nearly one hundred pounds, fuggles truly believes he is a lap dog and wants to cuddle at every opportunity. he is a very happy, silly dog who expresses his happiness in the form of vocalizations somewhere in between a whine and bark that i call "dog singing."

as mentioned, we welcomed fuggy into our lives during my college career, so for his entire life, he has known me to be in and out of the house at various intervals. which has actually worked out rather well, because he never really shows any type of resentment or bitterness, like bandit used to display towards my brother. the andie/fuggles reunion goes something like this. fuggles will hear the car door shut outside and begin barking, as is customary with our canine friends. before i enter the house, or he can see me, i usually call out to him. and once he recognizes my voice, he starts singing, very loudly. he then lovingly attacks me when i walk through the door, which forms a gauntless of sorts, wedging me between the stairs, wall, my luggage and a very excited, giant dog who is doing everything he can to jump on me, licking me no less than 300 times before i can even take my shoes off. next, he has to get his favorite toy and show it to me. this time it was a stuffed squirrell that he has viciously ripped all the stuffing out of, but in the past it has been bones, a stuffed chicken, a ball, etc. we then spend a good amount of time cuddling.

fuggles and his "cousin", buddy

i spent a great day with my dad yesterday. my father and i have a tradition of going christmas shopping very late in the season. we've been known to venture out on the 24th to get "a few last things". the ironic part about this is that neither of us are big fans of people or crowds, so you'd think that we would avoid the store during the last week before christmas like the plague. but there we are, shoving our way through department stores and grumbling about "all these damn people." but we always have a wonderful time together. i received one of my christmas gifts early, in the form of being taken shopping for an outfit. and i have to admit, winter friends, that i did get quite a chuckle when i noticed how out of place my father seemed in a young woman's clothing store. i was very thankful i have a dad who loves me enough to endure the mindless chatter of young women, the pulsating techno music that they always seem to play in those store and the intense indecisiveness his daughter was stuck with when it came to selecting a pair of pants.

the universe  was good to me on sunday evening and i had to opportunity to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra play in downtown buffalo. My cousins had received tickets as a gift for them and their boyfriends (i feel strange calling someone a boyfriend after the age of about 25... the word boyfriend in my head conjures up an image of an angsty 17 year old boy in skinny jeans and stupid hair, trying to avoid the girls' father, while they figure out a way to sneak up to her bedroom......  )... anyway, my cousin katie's "manfriend" ( i guess that's better...?) wasn't able to go so i became her date instead. and woohoo! it was such a good time.

for those of you who are unfamiliar with the trans siberian orchestra, they provide an amazing synergy between rock and classical music. they use several extremely talented guitarists who rock super hard with a signficant string section backing them up which adds depth and complexity to the music. they also put on a hell of a show. i'm very fortunate that i am not at all prone to seizures because i have not been that overstimulated in quite some time. lasers! smoke machines! video screens! moving catwalks! fire! holy crap! so much to look at.

the trans siberian orchestra gained some mainstraim notoriety with some beautifully ass kicking renditions of christmas songs. check out their version of greensleeves, it will rock your face off. and can i just say, i find this super intense christmas music to be hilarious. the fact that these long haired rock star dudes are head banging, violently, to songs about santa gave me the giggles like nothing i had ever experienced. to see a full grown man in leather pants, on his knees, squealing out amazing guitar solos in the middle of joy to world, while fire erupted in the background is about the funniest thing ever. i expected santa claus to come running out in the middle of the stage and start ripping his suit in half with his bare hands circa 1989 hulk hogan. the only thing that could have made this christmas music more intense was if they let live polar bears loose on the audience and announced that certain sections of the stadium had raw meat under their seats. woo christmas!!!!

i haven't laughed that hard in a long time. and i'll keep stating this throughout this particular literay masterpiece, friends, that this band was musically amazing and their show was one of the most entertaining expereinces that i have attended in quite some time. but just the thought of christmas being so hardcore is priceless to me.

my cousins also decided to park several blocks away from the arena as to avoid traffic and the nonesense of paying to park. and might i just remind you, how much snow is currently in buffalo. since my relocation to the great southwest, i have found myself with belongings spread over a large part of the country. and, insert laughter here, unfortunately, most of my winter outerwear and footwear is residing on long island. so, i decided i wanted to look cute for the concert last night, donning some brand new skinny jeans and a cute grey shirt. unfortunately for andiepants, all of my boots are on long island. the only footwear that i had with me, that was able to stand up to the six inches of snow, slush and ice that we strode across... was my hiking boots. please, everyone, take just a minute to imagine me, striding across downtown buffalo with my skinny jeans tucked into super hardcore high ankled hiking boots. sigh.

to make matters worse, i also do not have a winter coat with me, so i was wearing my mothers, which did not fit and caused me to look like a rectangle. in order to make sure my ears and face did not freeze and crack in half, i donned my snow hat, which has a poof ball on the top and two hanging from each ear flap. not the most classy look, but i dig it. so, just to summarize my outfit in its entirety, we had super crazy hiking boots, with skinny tucked in, rectangle coat and poof ball hat. i looked like a street urchin. i really did. it looked like my cousins were participating in some agency goodwill fundraiser, entitled "take a homeless person to a concert." its a good thing i don't embarrass easily.

unfortunately, i awoke this morning with a bit of a cold, but such is life and i am taking this opportunity to relax on my couch, watch tv and cuddle with my dog.

oh, and p.s., i miss comments. so if the spirit moves you, say hello!

be happy and be thankful during this holiday season,
andie.

californication

Good evening friends! I apologize to most of you who must be freezing tonight. The universe has apparently decided to sink most of the country into a deep freeze, complete with feet and feet of snow.... except new mexico. we are snow free and are consistently hitting the mid 60's in the middle of the day. I'd like everyone to take a moment now to silently express their hatred toward me and my super awesome climate....... 

... and we're done. This evening the andie-brain has decided to finally write about my adventures to los angeles. To be completely honest, I really wasn’t looking forward to going to LA. I was actually pretty nervous about it, my anxiety stirring and revving its little anxious engine at just the thought of the metropolis. For all of autumn 2010, I have been marooned in my little desert existence, with miles and miles and miles of open space. For the past three months, I have been residing in a community that has fewer residents than my high school. Can we just take a moment and think about it? And New Mexico at large only has one million people inhabiting it, whereas LA and its surrounding areas comprise nearly 9 million people. You might bring up the point that I had previously lived on Long Island for 3 years, with its NYC overflow, comprising of traffic, more 24 hour convenience stores than I could ever hope for, and a sea of humanity. But since moving away from the island, I’ve grown accustomed to my tiny town, the quietness, the stillness, the familiarity of the people, the lackadaisical nature in which everyone conducts their business. As I was preparing to embark on this journey to California, I was worried about overstimulating my newly rurally adjusted senses.

As I snuggled my andie-butt into the much too small plane seat (or would it be a much too large andie-butt? Questions to ponder..), I heard the pilots fast-food-restuaruant-drive-thru-esqe voice rumble through the plane. I could make out no other words but “initial descent”, but that was all I needed to hear. I pressed the andie-face up to the window to see what I was getting myself into. My eyes took in a vast stretch of lights, houses and business and cars and streetlamps all proudly proclaiming their existence. After a brief moment of darkness, I witnessed another giant swatch of lights. Then another and another. Soon enough there were so many lights that I was not able to see where they ended. Uh oh. Toto we are definitely not in Kansas anymore.

Once on the ground, I immediately made my way to a coffee dispensing station (hint number 1 that I was in LA: I encountered three Starbucks from my gate to the bathroom) and obtained a nice hot cup of chamomile tea. This is my initial defense against the anxiety monster. After fixing myself a cup of tea every time I become upset or stressed, the andie-mind has been conditioned to relax with the introduction of this fragrant drink. However, this proved to be a big mistake as it is exceedingly difficult to maneuver a giant suitcase, hot tea and talk on the phone to the person that is picking you up at the same time. Approximately 20% of my delicious beverage ended up on my hand, shirt, and the floor. That, friends, is how my California journey began.

But fear not, it got better. I was able to locate our gracious and generous hostess Jenna as she pulled up to the airports overcrowded and incredibly irritable pick up line (I almost forgot what horns sounded like). I credit Jenna’s unique style of layering, outer wear and super awesome brown driving gloves for making it possible for me to locate her amidst all the vehicular irritability. She spirited me away through the monstrosity that is LA, educating me about all of the different neighborhoods and providing me with interesting tidbits about some. For example, I had the opportunity to drive through the intersection where the notorious BIG was killed (rip biggie).

We arrived at her apartment before another east coast/west coast war could erupt, spotting evan and mike. They had been patiently waiting for us in Howie the Hyundai with their good friend, whiskey. We piled into Jenna’s lovely and cozy apartment, reuniting for a time before we had a slumber party. Jenna’s studio apartment, which before had been arranged to suit its sole occupant, underwent a transformation and became a bedroom for the four of us. Yep, we all slept in one room, with mike and I generously being given Jenna’s bed and ev and jenna sleeping on the couches. Sleeping in one room had its ups and downs. Being in the same room as two expert snore-ers was challenging. I had to alternate between kicking mike and throwing pillows at evan. At one point, I walked over and attempted to roll Evan over to halt the symphony coming from his face. This proved to be harder than it looked and I was defeated. I shuffled back to bed and scowled at him for a while. Less effective, but it made me feel a bit better.

On Thursday, the apartment was bustling with holiday activity with the preparations for our Friendsgiving feast. Each one of us had our task and we somehow completed it without tripping over or killing each other in Jenna’s kitchen. I made the best salad in the entire world (not that I’m biased), Mike regaled our taste buds with his stuffed mushrooms, Ev made a delicious concoction involving veggies and Jenna tackled the main event. She appeared to experience the full range of human emotion (fear, acceptance, happiness, disgust, etc) as she prepared the unlucky bird. The rest of the evening passed in a blur of delicious foods, wine, new people and of course, the conclusion to every Thanksgiving feast, the post-turkey coma.

Friday just happened to be my almost-husbands 28^th birthday. We referred to him as “birthday cagg” for the entire day and carried out his birthday requests all day.  We started by locating a pizzeria and I had the opportunity to watch mike inhale the slice in its entirety. I'm not sure he chewed once. It’s been quite some time since he has had quality pizza, and if you know Mike, you know about his love for pizza. Let’s put it this way, if it were legal to marry food objects, I highly doubt that I would have this ring on my finger. This lovely piece of jewelry would probably be nestled between a pepperoni chunk and some cheese. Mmmmm pepperoni….

Anyway ! we then made our way to Venice Beach where we spent the remainder of the day enjoying the sunshine, watching the skaters at an outdoor skate park, talking about purchasing beautiful houses on the beach and encountering some pretty interesting people. One man was selling his rap CD’s on the boardwalk and he remarked that I looked like “a young Jodie Foster.” Does anyone else see it? I don’t really. I’ve gotten Lisa Loeb before, but not Jodie.

Prior to embarking on my California journey, I had made the decision to add to my tattoo while there. Yes, readers, I know. It seems like everyone who comes to LA gets a tattoo. The climate and the experience of being vacation climbs into our heads and causes us to throw caution to the wind and pierce ourselves with needles. now thats what i call a relaxing vacation. But I had an alternate motive for making this decision. Lets revisit the point that I live in a rural community consisting of 1500 people. My options for quality tattoo artist in my hometown is incredibly limited, and unless I wanted a misshapen heart with “moom” in the middle, I didn’t think I would get what I was looking for. 

The original flowers that i had done in 2007

I made the appointment for 11am, so that it could be done and out of the way fairly early (I attempted to make the appointment for 10am, but the artist looked at me as if I had just suggested electing a unicorn for president, and I took that facial expression to mean that 10am was much too early). We arrived at the studio at 11:01 (I’m very punctual when I’m nervous) to find the studio unopened with the bars remaining down. Crap! Mike and I made our way to subway, where I projected my nerves onto him and snapped at him over pointless things like bottled water. I am continually grateful that this man is marrying me. At about 11:15am, we went back to the studio to find it ready and raring to go. After some sketching and placement and last minute conversation, I was placed on the table ready to go. And damn! I forgot how much that hurt! I’m not sure if the andie-brain blocked out the experience of my first tattoo but it felt like it hurt much worse this time around. And don’t get me wrong, my tattoo artist, Andreas (ironic, right?) was incredibly skilled, well matured and efficient, completing my tattoo in just under 45 minutes with beautiful results.

But ow! There were a few moments when I contemplated getting up off the table and walking away, half finished tattoo and all. Maybe I could have drawn the rest on with Sharpie, who knows. Once the outline was completed, the shading and coloring hurt much less. I was able to relax a bit, loosen the death grip I had on Mike’s hand and even permit him to go eat breakfast my art was finished. After 12 days, my lily is almost completely healed and I am very very happy with it. It seems as though I acquire a new flower after every major event in my life, and this lily is an ode to my years in grad school and on long island. welcome, new lily. 

new flower friend.

Saturday afternoon found us at a sushi restaurant, inhaling some of the most delicious fish that has ever swam in the sea. Sushi is yet another delicacy that new mexico apparently does not believe in, and we have been going through some serious aquatic cuisine withdrawal. Mike and I made the decision to leave LA on saturday evening as opposed to doing the entire drive in one day, which proved to be the right decision, as we encountered some serious snow in the mountains of Arizona and New Mexico. 

In closing, I had a fantastic time in Los Angeles. It is a place that I have always wanted to experience, but for vacation only. i think andie-pants is better to suited to reside in a different locale. maybe i've been immersed in rural USA for too long, maybe i'm reconnecting with my small(ish) town roots, maybe I just don't like guys in tight pants. even still, i'm thankful for my experience there, and especially for our wonderful friends who took the time to entertain us.

have a lovely evening and be thankful, 

andie.

protests and pat downs.

Hello friends. Happy December. My intentions were to write about my los angeles adventures, but to be honest with you, i never really know what's going to come out until it's splattered onto this blog page, like those poor crash test dummies who so courageously sacrificed themselves so that we could have safer cars (thanks, guys!). so instead of words about lalaland, these are the andie-thoughts that decided to make their presence known.....

After I was viciously pried away from little b (didn’t I just write a piece about using overly dramatic wording? Sigh, the journey continues.. ), I boarded an airplane to whisk me away to LA. And before I proceed, I need to say a just a few words (ha! If you’ve read even one entry of my blog, you know I’m not a fan of brevity)…. Ok, so I’m going to say many words regarding this airport security/personal rights trampling/molestation/brain cancer inducing/terrorist lurking/fear mongering rampage that the media has so suspiciously launched right before the travel season.

Don’t get me wrong, friends, I’m all for personal rights and such. But I am also very strongly opposed to being blown up into tiny little andie-bits at 30,000 feet by some misguided religious fanatic. So. Like most gigantic messy problems, in order to be successful and resolve said conundrum, a compromise must be reached. And like most “hot topics” (think abortion, death penalty, gun control, lady gaga, etc), you have opposing groups of people who are viciously attacking one another. Isn’t America fun?  One group hurls the term “liberal” around like it’s synonymous with child rapist. The other accuses their opponents as supporters of a police state and hide behind battle cries for personal freedom. And as for me? I oppose both of them. I know, I know. How boring. I might as well change my favorite color to beige and start the rest of my sentences with “well, I agree with both of you but…”. To some, there is nothing more annoying than a moderate, a fence sitter, a person who agrees with certain points of both platforms. And if this describes you, please close your internet window now. Because this is my blog, and I get to write whatever I want. Take that.

But I am in the middle on this one. So I have some thoughts to express. Who’s surprised? No one. To the “don’t touch my junk” dude: get real and get over yourself. I have a feeling that the TSA has better things to do than fondle some hairy, sweaty, irritable dude’s balls. Same goes for all of the people who are convinced that the “death inducing xray super crazy terrible machines” are going to produce naked pictures of them which the TSA employees will then reproduce, put on the internet, send to their buddies, put in their wallets, send to their mom’s, sell on e bay, make a shrine, insert more ridiculous and idiotic ideas here, etc etc etc. stop it!

Further, I highly doubt that the radiation exposure caused by one or two trips through these machines will be a death sentence. This same person who is apparently afflicted with verbal diarrhea regarding the “life threatening” xray machines at the airports probably goes home, smokes a pack a day, drinks four beers at a clip and would only run a mile if being chased by bears. I would worry more about your lungs, liver and heart, friend, before you worry about the tumor that isn’t in your brain.

On the other hand, I in no way believe that the actions of a few misguided fanatics should give the TSA free reign to do as they please. I believe that most of the current TSA employees have this disastrous inverse relationship between power and intelligence, specifically, too much power and too little intelligence. Ah! This is terrible combination that rapidly breeds resentment, hostility, mistrust, etc. But be excited, dear readers, because I have some andie-ideas for how we could rectify this

One such idea is that we need to make the TSA a respectable position and we do this by increasing the amount of education needed for this occupation. No, they do not have to have a PhD in metal detection, a doctorate in pat downs, a masters in “put your shit in the bin.” But I think people have such a strong negative reaction to them because in most cases, they have fewer brain cells than the machines they operate. People don’t respect stupidity. And they respect rude, power inflated, morons even less. The TSA needs to seriously work on its people skills. Hold some trainings, seminars, speed dating, do whatever you need to do. Just learn how to speak to people without yelling or sounding like an asshole.

The original idea behind the TSA, making our airports and flights a safer place/experience, is much too important a responsibility to leave to bored, apathetic, irritable people. And that is what we’re cultivating in this current climate of minimum wage earning workers. Does anyone else find it mildly terrifying that the person in charge of making sure my plane doesn’t explode gets paid less than the average home depot worker? I do! My point is this, the TSA needs a serious overhaul, involving more training, more education and as a result, higher wages to attract quality workers, who are actually invested in the duty they are performing.

No matter what side of the proverbial political line you fall on, be it Rush Limbaugh-adoring-conservative, or tree-hugging-liberal, I think everyone can agree that in the world that we are living in, national security, including some measures at airports are necessary. But people, we need to have balance. I’ve grown very fond of the concept of balance and applying it to my life in recent years and I believe that I have benefited greatly because of it. I truly believe that exercising and instilling the practice of balance in most instances will yield positive results.

and in the interest of balance, this tired andie-pants needs a hot cup of tea and some cuddles with her almost-husband. 

stay tuned, dear readers. i'll promise that eventually i'll coax my brain into producing something about my la trip, because it was a wonderful, relaxing, invigorating vacation filled with new experiences and reunions with beloved friends.

be thankful and be happy,
andie.