can a wedding dress get its own plane seat?

Hi friends. Happy Monday. For all of you that might not be aware, mike and I are currently planning a wedding. happy times, indeed. But, wedding planning is scaring me a bit. I’m trying to hold onto my mantra that it will all work out. I’m trying to channel this inner peace, hippie stuff that I like to share with you all, dear readers, on this literary masterpiece. Oh you know what I’m talking about. Always trying to espouse the community to live in the moment and be thankful. Ha! Someone please remind our dear andiepants how much hypocrites suck. Sigh. I’m not doing well with living in the moment right now. I’m desperately trying to remind myself that Mike and I are very laid back people, and are not caught up in many of the details that traditional weddings deem necessary. I’m trying to stay focused on whats really important; marrying mike. And to be quite honest, my marriage to mike will happen, with or without the “non wasteful centerpiece that best represents us”, the bad hair day, guests not showing up and/or saying the whole time, earthquake, famine, drought, etc. so what should I be worrying about?

Actually, everything. I’m worrying about everything. Holy crap. All of my “be thankful and enjoy the moment, inner peacefulness” has decided to take a prolonged vacation. Come back, centered and grounded andie!!! Its anarchy in the andie brain, ruled by various hot spots of anxiety. And the thing that is causing me the most mental pain is my dress, but for different reasons then you might think. Check it out, readers. I think I found my dress. Its beautiful, fits like a dream, makes me feel like a little woodland goddess (forest nymphs!), I actually teared up a bit when I put it on (yep, I was that girl… so disappointing.) but where the hell do I order it? In new mexico where im currently living? And then be charged with the lovely task of taking it through airports, xrayed through the new brain cancer machines (can wedding dresses get cancer?… maybe I’ll have them pat it down instead…. thoroughly) because its sure as shit not being checked. Ah! As if airports are not stressful enough, the thought of me negotiating security lines and screaming babies in seat 31f with my ever loving wedding stress stuffed into the overhead bins makes my anxiety want to eat my face.

My preference is to order it in either Buffalo or Long Island. That way, I only have to drive it on up the mountain (can anyone tell that I’ve been living in the west? Soon enough I’ll be saying “that there”…) rather than purchasing it its own seat on the plane (No, I’m sorry, standby passenger who has been stuck in an airport for 3 days, trying to get home to see his grandmother, there are no seats available, my wedding dress is sitting here). Ah, so many tangents. Anyway, buffalo or LI would be ideal, but guess what, favorite readers? I don’t have enough time to do that. The next time I have a significant enough break from work to travel anywhere is the third of week of March, and unfortunately, my dress needs to be ordered by then. Can you believe this? My wedding is 9 months away and I don’t have enough time? The dress is already made, is it not? And yes, ordering and alterations and blah blah blah, but seriously? It makes me think that for all of our technological advances and major modern marvels, there really is a gnome up in an attic somewhere spinning thread on a giant wheel, by candlelight, slowing piecing together weddings dresses, painstakingly, one bead at a time. Ah! Not enough time! Stop it. And now readers, this is why mike and I did not want to get caught in the all mighty wedding establishment, “McWedding.” Because I hate crap like this. I. Hate. It. Having snooty sales ladies tell me that “of course it takes 18 weeks for your wedding dress to come in, scoff scoff” like this is some common knowledge that should have been taught to me in kindergarten along with tying my shoes and finger painting. Puke. Things that should take 18 weeks: completing half of a pregnancy, college courses, remodeling your home, etc. not a dress, people.

Anyway, that’s McWedding for you, and as much as I don’t like it, I love this dress. So we deal and I’ve accepted that I need to order it within the next month “because of ordering and alterations, and giving the gnome time to rest his fingers, and blah blah blah” Unfortunately, this presents another problem for andiebrain to process and deal with. One of the traditions I enjoy regarding weddings is that its customary for the groom not to see his bride in her gown until the day of the ceremony. But since I’ve relocated to the southwest, mike and I have pretty much been attached at the hip. You thought we were close before? Check us out when we don’t have any friends within a 300-mile radius. So lets review: must order dress in New Mexico before March 1^st, can’t let Mike see me in dress, which puts me in a bridal shop, trying stuff on, making arrangements and doing all of that process……..by myself. Super crap! And please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to rally sympathy from my beloved readers, even though I love you for it. It is what it is. Some parts of living here are awesome (such as going hiking today, January 9^th, in a tshirt, being hot and getting sunburn because it was almost 65 in the desert, wooo hoo!) but this situation is really highlighting how much living here can suck. This is one of those times that a lady really needs her family and friends around. And I am so lucky to have amazing beautiful people who love me ready and willing to support and help me. And thank you, universe and Al Gore, for the internet which is going to make things so much easier to coordinate and plan with my family and friends. But this is one experience that really must be had in person.

Thanks, readers, for allowing me to vent about some of my frustrations with this process. Though I’m struggling with some things, I really am enjoying most parts of this endeavor. Mike and I are really trying to craft a wedding from the ground up, discarding traditions and “things we should do” that don’t fit with us, while still honoring some other timeless traditions (my dad is totally walking me down the aisle). One of the best parts of this is thinking about our amazing family and friends, and all of their many diverse talents, and how we could best involve them in our wedding. So I guess a bit of my “being thankful” is trickling back in. phew.

I’m going to leave you all with a request. If, while interacting with any of you, I even BEGIN to act like the dreaded bridezilla, please call me on it. A well placed comment, email, text, meesage in a bottle, note attached to leg of pigeon, whatever you need to do. Just don’t let me let this one day consume my whole life. Yes, its my wedding day. But its only a day. I’ll be married to mike for my entire life. That’s what I should be focusing on, what I should be cultivating, what I should be spending energy on. Those pink fuzzy dice make the rear view mirror look pretty, but does it affect the structure or integrity of the car? Not so much. And that’s really what all this stuff is to me, the flowers, the decorations, even (gasp) the dress. Its fluff, details, additions that in no way will affect my relationship.

Now. I might just go back and read the above paragraph out loud to myself so that it might sink into anxious andiebrain. Sometimes its so much easier to write these things than to actually process and believe them. But the journey continues. 

be thankful, 

andie.